IT’S A BEAUTIFUL DAY TODAY! The air conditioner is off and I’ve opened all the windows in the house. The breeze blowing in as I sit here at my desk is delightful. I try to enjoy the little things that life has to offer but sometimes I forget to do that. I think most of us do. We get so wrapped up in our daily lives we don’t have time to feel the breeze on our face.
When this happens I force myself to think back three years ago when I was on my chemotherapy treatments. I didn’t enjoy life at all then. I sat and watched my favorite TV shows at night. I couldn’t even get into the story line because I realized the stupid show didn’t even matter. It wasn’t real. It was just a bunch of people acting out a story. Why were the actors on sitcoms throwing out one-liners, trying to make people laugh? How could they joke around when I felt so awful? If they lost all their hair and had painful mouth sores that prevented them from eating, they wouldn’t be laughing. The commercials bothered me too. I didn’t care to hear how one mop was better than another. I used to be a clean freak. My house was always spotless. What did that matter now? I didn’t care about cleaning my house.
As I sit here enjoying the soft, cool breeze on my skin I think how lucky I am to be alive. Even though my stamina is not at the level it was before undergoing surgery and chemo, that’s ok. I can live with that. I don’t plan on running any marathons. There is still so much more I want to do, and can do. I enjoy experimenting with gluten-free flours and developing new recipes. Sharing my recipes for muffins, cakes, and other desserts with you on this blog is my intent. I bake and serve them to non-celiacs at family parties and get-togethers. I want the end result to taste REAL, as I call it, and not gluten free.
I look forward to being around when my kids start having kids. A lot of women I know who are grandmas say how wonderful it is. I sure don’t want to miss that. Taking my dog with me on a 30-minute walk a couple of days a week is fun. I don’t do it in the summer but now that the days are getting cooler, I can begin again. I’m still a clean freak but not to the extent I was before.
I used to despise my surgical scars. Now I look at them as reminders that I survived a trip to hell and back. Twice! When I hear people complaining about trivial things I smile to myself. If you can’t fit a four-poster-bed into your master bedroom, it really doesn’t matter. It really doesn’t.